A Like Life Introspective

October 19th, 2015

Whatever happened to good ol’ fashion “like”?  It’s an odd phenomena when Single Person strikes up a conversation with  Total Stranger.  The countdown silently begins 10, 9 ,8 ….when Total Stranger hurriedly, awkwardly, injects this phrase: “My wife (girlfriend, partner, etc etc) and I ….”

Just saying ……takes mere seconds…

Can  Single Person engage in a conversation with a Total Stranger before Total Stranger’s brain is saying “uh oh, my wife/girlfriend is going to be upset with me talking to another woman so I better let them know I’m taken”?  Who has had this experience? Deja vu?

What ever happened to “like”?  Why not a like life (vs a love life), as in Lorrie Moore’s collection of short and snappy stories, “Like Life”?  Friends?  What a concept.

 

 

At long last….Love Unlocked

September 27th, 2014

locks for love

Unlike Paris’ locks for love on the Pont des Arts, No Loves Lost finally got “unlocked”!  We owe our thanks to Chris, our new IT Boy Wonder and a WordPress Master “Locksmith”.  Thank you, Chris!

Almost 8 months in limbo, our love blog was in search of a new home.  Ironically we got locked out on the big LUV day, 02/14/2014. The numerology was a sign to take a hiatus from the on-line dating scene.

Inspired by the young ladies of Lean In Canada this week, it’s time to test drive Tinder, meet up on Match, and change “Like Life” by brilliant American author, Lorrie Moore to “Love Life” by Yours Truly.  No Loves Lost blog is back!

Details Details!

January 12th, 2014

Kicking off the New Year with a tribute to all Moms around the world! Chowing down on the last of my Mom’s dumplings, I think back to my flight this week.

Before I boarded with carry-on only, I re-arranged the space in my satchel to store my Mom’s “care package”. I suspect many of you can relate. Not only was there enough for my 3 hour flight from YYC/YYZ but also for an entire week! Not complaining…ribs in black bean sauce, salted roast chicken, steamed dumplings and buns, banana, orange…

But what always blows my mind is Mom’s meticulous and loving care in packing – several paper towels folded neatly, the orange peeled and segmented, toothpicks for eating the dumplings, well, you get the picture.

As I hoisted my “care package” onto the tray in front, I noticed a young mom across the aisle, shushing and rocking her small baby. She was so concerned about him disturbing the passengers. And, of course, she didn’t have anything to eat. So I reached over and said, “Here! These are from my Mom to you, Mom.” She smiled with relief. Love learned from my Mom; it’s in the details.

Cooking for Love with Love

December 31st, 2013

Gratitude is cooking for my parents tonight, New Year’s Eve.

Our menu was simple – Holiday Cranberry-Balsamic Pork Tenderloin with stir-fried mushrooms, avocado-apple-pecan salad, sweet potatoes, and of course, rice! We grew up saying, “you haven’t eaten if you haven’t had your rice.”

Mom could use the extra calories. She spends her days line-dancing, at aqua-fit and Tai Chi. Well, Dad likes the remote control but walks for an hour a day when it’s not winter. Did I mention they are 80+? Here’s to many more meals with love in the New Year!

Happy New Year 2014!

My Main Matryoshka Moment

November 30th, 2013

As a design paradigm, the nested Russian doll principle, can also be applied to romance.
Matryoshkas, their proper name, are used metaphorically to describe a recognizable relationship of “object-within-similar-object”, like nesting tables, kitchen canisters, measuring spoons, etc.

One evening after dinner, Mr. Savant Man and I were homeward-bound in a cab. The rain kept pouring all around us as we made our way uptown. I thought what a perfectly romantic setting if only….

Wait, what was he saying? “THE MOST romantic moment in my life was blah blah blah!” As if on cue, he decided to fill in the blank “if only ….. I was with someone else.”

My Main Matryoshka Moment was HIS romantic moment nestled in what was supposed to be OUR romantic moment. HUH?

I thought should I top his most romantic moment? Where would this end? What will we find at the core? The tiniest Matryoshka or the one true love of our lives? Or maybe love ad infinitium …

ad infinitum

“There’s a Metaphysical Thing”

October 21st, 2013

On July 5, 2008. I was in NYC’s MOMA, standing next to “Vir Heroicus Sublimis” translated “Man, heroic and sublime”. The artist, Barnett Newman, writes in his essay “the Sublime is Now”, “If we are living in a time without a legend that can be called sublime, how can we be creating sublime art?”

Newman hoped that the viewer would stand close to his great work and he likened the experience to a human encounter. I had experienced such an encounter last week, getting into a cab with my friend, Mr. RadioLandMan. Subconsciously, I stopped midway into the cab and sat right next to him, up, close, and personal, talking away without realizing I had almost squashed him.

As Newman continues to write, “It’s no different, really, from meeting another person. One has a reaction to the person physically. Also, there’s a metaphysical thing, and if a meeting of people is meaningful, it affects both their lives.” This was such a meeting!

Speed Dating

September 30th, 2013

In yesterday’s New York Times magazine, I stumbled upon an article about how speed dating was started by Rabbi Yaacov Dyo in Beverly Hills in 1998. He trademarked “Speed-Dating” but couldn’t patent it as the trend got out of control.

Evan Marc Katz, a dating coach since 2003, says technology allows us access but “we treat people as disposable.” You might give a person a chance because you have met them in person speed-dating while online you might click past them. It’s a numbers game indeed. So at the end of the day, speed-dating is another tool in the tool kit for our clients!

“How to Learn Anything…fast”

September 2nd, 2013

Author Josh Kaufman, also of “the personal MBA” writes it takes 20 hours to acquire a new skill. He lists yoga poses, software programming, playing the ukele but what about love? Learning to love? Love at first sight? Proficient at love, a PhD?


We watched a young couple wed this weekend and discussed at great length what were the odds of them staying together. Having watched a documentary on marriage and diversity, my friend is a firm believer that arranged marriages are the way to go. Here lies complete, total, and utter blind faith in parents putting two together in high hopes of a happy union. Shared culture, similar values, does this increase the probability of long wedded bliss? The romantic in me argues sometimes all it takes is that spark which ignites hope, a glance that sets off a wildfire of romance – when everything aligns in a microsecond.

However, learning to love is a lifelong lesson in courage, kindness, and compassion. Like a tsunami, love swells, recedes, and implodes. Witness those in love, like our newlyweds. They’re riding the crest of love! Who are we to say you need to earn a PhD to love? “Love is all they need!”

Above Par…When it really counts!

August 6th, 2013

A Sporting Profile excerpt:

“Are you the Bogey Man or do you tee it up right the first time? I’m looking for a fit, fun, and fabulous guy, age 35 to 45, who is not below but above par…unless you are a “Tiger”. Then we can talk! In for the whole 18 rounds aka a long term relationship, let’s start with the front 9 first.

Off the fairways, we’re on the squash court! Do you stand at least 6′ tall without your court shoes on? Do you boast? If yes, occasionally is a good tactic. Do you drop? If it nicks, you’re a winner! But can you match my drive? Racquet ready? Game on? Let’s go!”

My wife, my girlfriend, my partner … my oh my

July 25th, 2013

Any singles out there experience the same unusual phenomena?

You’re at an event, a meeting, or a party, having a nice conversation with a man you’ve just met. Somehow, out of left field, he drops the phrase, “My wife and I” or “My girlfriend and I”. Huh?

Does he think …? My oh my, he thinks you think he’s available! Is this the male brain? Did he even hear what I was saying? So you walk away, shaking your head. Maybe Billie Crystal was right to ask in “When Harry met Sally”. Can men and women just be friends?